Impressions

First impressions. Through US Airway's international wing at the PHX I stared out at an eight lane, triple tiered highway. It was full of signs, cars, cars going really fast, and criss-cross of ramps and other chaotic things that struck me as completely out of place. For you engineers, contstruction guys, etc I know that's not what "the mess" is really called, somebody's just been on an island for too long--where on a good day you fly-drive at 60kph (37mph) while weaving your way down a holed-rough road.

Five minutes later, after breezing through customs and immigration (praise the Lord!), I was greeted back to the States by the airport's biggest Starbucks. Hallelujah, don't we serve a great God??

These were my first impressions of being back. Over the next hours other things would hit me. . .things like:
Awe at cell phone technology -- or really my sister's touch phone anatomy quiz game (nerd alert)
Smoothness of the road and sides on which we drive.
How fast you can legally drive in California.
Restaurant service and how much food provided.
Being surrounded by family and cousins and cousins kids.
Not getting stared at everywhere you go.
How fat and big my family's pets are . . . there is no way all of that is "winter fluff".
Excess of things (food, clothing, books, technology) all around.
Power outlets! So many things plugged in at once! Without surge protectors, so many outlets, no worries about fluctuating power.
Water. Water. Water. Drinking, faucets, hot.
COLD! It was 60 degrees and I was freezing. Then it dropped to 20.
Carpeted floors.

Random, right? Does it even make sense? And so many were totally unexpected as I've lived abroad before, yet so it goes.

Some of my second impressions and "adjustments" were even better:
 
No mosquitoes to kill, flies to protect my food from. Although I continue to look.
Lack of fear of lizards. (Which is really strange.)
Food! Salsa, peppepr jack cheese, lasagna, asparagus, grapes, real milk . . . 
Pulling stuff from storage was an early "Christmas"! Who knew I still had so many clothes!?!
No red dirt feet at night.
Dishwasher!! Microwave!! Rinse cycle on the washing machine!
Aware of homeless all around and internal battle of compassion vs. mistrust.
Difficulty throwing away Ziplocs-which are perfectly good after the first use.
Snow.
Shoes with my feet enclosed.
Grocery store overload.
Blood curdling scream at spider sightings. . . still got it.
Easy access to so much, without a second thought.

These lists are constantly growing as I adjust back. Life experiences teach us so much and can impress upon us on so many different levels that we often aren't aware of.

In many ways I miss the simplicity of life in Jamaica. In others I'm grateful to have things back (the rinse cycle is a big one, no more double wringing by hand!) and enjoying the supposed excess around me. In all ways I'm feeling more appreciative and thankful for the many, many blessings in this life--both here and in Jamaica!!

I look forward to seeing uno (ya'll) soon.  

The Task.

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light. An angel appeared, showed a large rock in front of his cabin and asked him to push against the rock with all his might.

This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock.

Nothing happened. And he decided to make it a matter of prayer.
“Lord I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even been able to budge that rock. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

The angel appeared again :
“My friend, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. And now you come to me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?”

“Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard.
“Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have.
“You learned the importance of discipline and training,
"This you have done. Now it is my turn, my task.”

And the angel moved the rock, showing to the man a beautiful path ahead.

[Came across this on my friend's blog and originally here]

Have hope.

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." 

Romans 8:24-25

It's hard for me to put this into words.

These first months in Jamaica have flown by. I have been stretched and fulfilled and drained in ways far beyond anything I could have ever imagined or expected in starting out on this journey of faith. So much so that I am, here today, facing something every missionary dreads: the deep pit of burn out. Two very unfriendly words.

But there is hope.


You see, God has brought me on every step, every interaction, every hurt and frustration, every joy and every sorrow of this journey for a reason. And this Jamaican journey is far from over.

In His way, He is seeing me home to the States sooner than expected for the holidays. In fact, I arrive back on the West Coast in a mere two days--Saturday, November 13th--rather than the East Coast in a few weeks (although I will be back to Phila at the end of the month!). In my excitement to be surrounded by friends and family, I am struggling on many levels. Yet, I will continue to hope.

I have hope. Hope in knowing that just as these months have been costly, they have also been faith stretching. Hope in knowing that these months have been hard, requiring deeper faith and dependency on God. Hope in knowing that all of Christ is full within me, His incomparable power included. Hope in believing that He has called me and will protect me through the toughest of battles. Hope in finding His complete joy. Hope in trusting that He is able and His power and love conquer all. Hope in the unknown glory of all that is to come, so much more than this world. In this hope I will rest and put my faith.

All throughout this journey, even know as I'm exhausted on so many levels, I continue to be surrounded by encouragement and prayers from so many of you. For this I am so thankful and appreciative of the ways you've let God use you to make an impact. Thank you. In time I hope to share more of all that God is doing down here in Jamaica--even in the midst of trials and tribulation. The stories that will one day come out of this time already give me the chills. God is good, mi friends!

These next few weeks will be a time of healing, filling up, and seeking Him in the midst of it all. I look forward to seeing you face-to-face as well!