Have you ever had one of those moments that you wish you could just take back? A
simple decision that completely alters the world ahead of you? I’ve had a lot of incredible simple decision life changing moments, but there’s one from this weekend a big part of me wishes I could take back: The decision to do one more last lap around the ice skating rink.
From happy to hurt in just a few moments, just a few lyrics of a song.
With me being in Philadelphia for a week, what better time to have a reunion with two of my dearest doctor (PT) friends, Sus and Mandy? And what better “holiday” spirit-filled place on a Saturday afternoon than the Riverrink down in the city?! We passed an hour and a half full of ice skating, hot cocoa and many laughs. No falls. Realizing the ice wasn’t in the greatest condition any longer and it was growing dark, we opted for “one last lap”. Wouldn’t you know that Bon Jovi came on as we rounded the last corner? True Rockbanders that we are, we had to be excited. And the next thing I know I’m pulling my pain-filled left skate out from underneath me. . . then stubbornly refusing an ambulance, being helped off the ice by security and staff, until I’m sitting inside trying to make myself well by standing on and moving my obviously injured ankle---yes, this was extremely intelligent and completely against the advice of my two wonderful present PTs . . . then taxi-cabbing it out of the city and finally being convinced to go to an ER. Oh, it’s quite the story.
One single decision turned this . . .
Into this . . . Left comminuted distal fibular fracture
With the addition of this stress (
ouch!) x-ray two days later . . .(drawn in lines are where plates/pins will go)
Leading to the start of a new adventure that begins with open-reduction internal fixation of the lateral malleolus and syndesmosis surgery on Friday, December 10th.
In normal English? They’re going to plate and pin my fibula (the smaller of the two lower leg bones), and then pin my fibula and tibia (the two lower leg bones) together to realign the joint and hold it stable while ligaments and other structures heal.
It’s been a whirlwind of a week . . .
*The PT turned into the patient. I’ve taught crutch training 100+ times but having to use them for everything, well, that is a whole different story! Suddenly, all the education on getting up off the couch, going up and down steps, getting in and out of the car, bathing, dressing, etc hits home. Let’s just say I make a better PT.
*Went from full weight bearing (FWB) on both feet, to non-weight bearing (NWB) and getting around on one foot. In other words, I’ve become quite the couch potato, a very foreign concept as well.
*Quite a drastic way of extending my stay in Phila by three weeks, yet, that’s exactly what it did! I’ve never been more thankful for gracious friends and overwhelming support. Also, for the two bins of “stuff” I happened to leave here last June! Yes, I have much to be thankful for including the great medical support and advice I’ve been getting.
*This holiday season turned into a crutch using, surgery going, rescheduling time of year. Plans are up in the air for the most part. After surgery I’m in Philadelphia with a follow-up appointment on the 22nd to have staples removed and be recasted/splinted. Then home to Oregon on the 23rd where I’ll stay for another 5-6 weeks or so as I heal. After that I’m headed back to Phila for a second follow-up appointment and to hopefully progress to a walking boot. Jamaica . . . well, is Jamaica and up in prayer right now. That encompasses all plans for the time being! :)
*People keep saying “You’re handling this really well.” Perhaps on the outside, in the world, I am. Yet, in those first days I can’t remember a time when I was more frustrated with God, myself, or present circumstances. I didn’t understand why this could be happening, and I still don’t. As the tears came (and continue), so did the need to keep on believing and trusting in His faithfulness and His promise for a plan for my life. It’s been a constant battle, especially as the stack of paperwork, phone calls, faxes, lost tickets, etc continue to pile up. With each day it gets easier to find a peace with what’s happening, as long as I keep praying and praying and praying, turning it over to the Almighty One. It’s a start.
All that is to say, complications are slowly being ironed out. I’m becoming less of a fall risk everyday as I get more practice with the crutches. My daddy arrives today to hold my hand. Tears still flow but more now when I’m overwhelmed by the generous and loving hearts of those offering to help out. I am blessed, my friends. Truly and utterly blessed.
Someday, when I can laugh easily about this time, I have a feeling that I won’t wish to take back that last lap decision after all.
In the words of Elisabeth Elliot (which happened to be on my mom’s daily calendar Monday):
“If God, like a father, denies us what we want now, it is in order to give us some far better thing later on. The will of God, we can rest assured, is invariably a better thing.”
